Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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