jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
