My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
