is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
