I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
