I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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