Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
