My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
