i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize