ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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