im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
