false alarm. still invincible.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
