Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
