HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
