When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
