Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
