I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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