ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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