I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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