White coat. Heels.
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
