Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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