im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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