i barfeds in our rink
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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