At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
