I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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