were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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