yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize