I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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