Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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