nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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