and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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