So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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