i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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