Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
