hell yes lets make some ravioli
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
