"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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