Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
