He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
