I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Randomize
