so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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