There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
