She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
