I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
