We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
