how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize