FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
