I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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