so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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