pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
