It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
