I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
