I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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