I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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