I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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