if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
