She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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