Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
