Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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