She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
