I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
