I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We named our party play list daddy issues
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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