I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My cat gives me a boner
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
