I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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